The Swinging Pendulum of Grief.
Living with Loss.
“As Black people one of our wildest gateways to freedom is our very own grief. In the way many Black women have stood as protectors & have held out their hand, wade stands at this gateway, arms open inviting us into a meadow where we can take our time. Acknowledge our loss & allow our grief to lead us into wellness. Take your time & sip on this one.”
- Zenju Earthlyn Manuel, Author of the Deepest Peace & The Way of Tenderness
I no longer believe grief to be an emotion. Grief is an evolution of your state of being. It’s not a place that you go to and come back from. You are never the same. No matter how big or small the loss, grief changes the core of your being.
A few weeks ago, my husband totaled his SUV. When we went to the tow lot to retrieve our items, we both shed a tear before walking away. I am grateful for the vehicle’s safety features that made it so my husband is still here and saddened at the loss of our vehicle that carried our family for the past couple of years. Also, a few weeks ago, we euthanized our family dog of 11 years. We are grieving in both situations but in different ways. Grief changes you.
My dad, always Daddy to me, left this earth on September 25, 2015. I have never been the same.
Before my father’s death, grief was something I felt mainly in proximity. My paternal grandparents were the closest people I lost before my dad. After my grandfather’s funeral, I remember seeing my dad cry upstairs in his bedroom. Years after my grandmother passed, he said he no longer had parents. I told him that couldn’t be. He was always their son, as I am always his daughter, even in this state of grief.
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